I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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