were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize