u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize