Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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