If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
