I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
