So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I understand Curling. That high.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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