At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
