apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
