I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize