I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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