lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
