Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize