So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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