I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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