Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
