Pappa wants mamma naked
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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