i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You are the jesus of drinking
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
