I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
