end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
