you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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