absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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