I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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