i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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