OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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