her vagine was all disorganized.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Randomize
