I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
