I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
