so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
