Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
