You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
