69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
