do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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