I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
