At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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