i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
COCAINE IS GR8
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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