yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
