Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
