didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
