lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
