you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
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