It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
