so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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