First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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