Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
