My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
