If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Randomize
