Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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