I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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