and she was petting her beer can
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
