Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
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