Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
