The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
