Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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