But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
