we have officially lost it.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
this hospital has no fireball
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Randomize
