I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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