I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
