I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Randomize
