I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
