Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
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