Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
