Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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