So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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