Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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