The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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