I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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