My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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