so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
